Rememberances

Why is that sometimes things long thought forgotten rise up from the shadows and beg you to reckon with them? Old hurts, old haunts, old scars. You know like when you get a sunburn, after it hurts, it peels and then the skin is so new and tender..that even the breeze that blows on it feels different. I feel like this right now....there are things that I have shoved in the closet of discards that are calling my name...so maybe in all the trash I have accidentally thrown out pieces of myself. aahhh....I have my work cut out for me...but even though I know it will probably not be fun, it will be good. Open heart surgery awaits me, the scalpel of God will wound me and free the bad to release the good.....

Checking up on my Dreams!

So last night, I stayed up and watched a movie: "Educating Rita" which stars Michael Caine and Julie Walters. I first saw this movie I suppose in the 80's back when I was a 20ish year old mother of three small children high school drop out...I remember that this movie moved me immensely. In the movie there is a very "un" educated woman named Rita who decides to get an education, she is married and a bit older than the traditional student. Her tutor is Michael Caine, a washed up has been poet who is rarely sober! She demands that he teach her how to speak and be like the "educated" crowd. Wow, she is desperate. Her husband feels threatened, he can't understand why life is just not good enough for her, hanging out at the pub (the movie was filmed in Ireland), being married to him and trying to have babies. She insists she can't have babies until she knows herself. Aaahh..sometimes we can't fully grasp how far we've come until we take a stroll down memory lane. I used to be Rita. I had to watch this movie just to see if it still moved me and really to remember what it was that moved me in the first place. It was about finding a "new song" to sing. Chasing the dream, even when most would act as if there is no such thing. I thank my God for giving me not just a dream but many to pursue and chase after. Watching this movie made me cry again, it reminded me of the girl I used to be, but no longer am. It reminded me of the great price I have had to sometimes pay to go after those dreams. In the movie, the marriage does'nt survive nor did it in my case. In the movie she ended up thanking her alcoholic professor for teaching her and believing her. In my story I thank the alcoholic in my life whose disease motivated me to believe there had to be a different song to sing. They part as grateful friends for in the end she helps him find his way too. In my story we too are friends, grateful for our experience and lovely because of our wounds.

Becoming a Blogger

Ok, so I have always wanted to be a blogger, not sure why but I love the idea that I can talk about anything I want, express my opinions and hopefully encourage, motivate or even provoke the same desire in others. I can remember for the longest time being so afraid...of having a voice. Blogging gives me a voice! I love it!

Ok, so lately things have been changing in my life; rapidly changing! Firstly, within the past month and a half and all within one week my life changed and somewhat caught up with the present state of technology. I acquired the worldwide web at home, a digital camera and have started my own business because of these two "tools" and now have my very own business website! Wow, Wow and Wow again! For a whole year I have owned a laptop that sat virtually untouched because I had no web access or the resources to get it! Crazy...God required me to wait!...Is God good or what? Crazy about us and good!

I am blessed to have some really great (younger) friends, that inspire me greatly, those that nudge me along the way and those whose fear motivates me even more! How can I be afraid? I only get one chance at life on this planet to make a difference, to shake things up a bit and maybe even play a role in the shaping of my own destiny and that of my children and the world around me.

Ok, so I'm gonna go for it...in the past 6 weeks my identity has changed from ordinary lifer to: Dream Chaser...

Thank you my friends for reading my jabber tonight...I am taking the plunge...those of you who have encouraged me to blog...you know who you are...a hearty thanks especially for you.